THE BLOG
How to Complete a Major Fall Organizing Project (And NOT lose it!)
I had to help my brother, who has a two-car garage, organize some big storage items, work things, old furniture, holiday decorations, you name it, that had recently landed and accrued space in his garage. The pile was only getting worse as the months went by, and since he was going out of town last week, I offered to help…Ugh.
I had to help my brother organize some pretty big storage items: Work things, old furniture and baby things, holiday decorations, you name it, that had recently landed and accrued space in his garage. The pile was only getting worse as the months went by, and since he was going out of town last week, I offered to help…Ugh.
Fall can be, I usually find, a really great time to start anything anew.
And I find it to be an especially good time to rid yourself of the past in any way you choose, or feel the need to fulfill. Something like clearing and cleaning out a garage, or any storage unit or closet, is more monumental, and emotionally taxing, than one things, especially if there things and family mementos from random, multiple moves, as was the case here. (I even had a box of old photos I was missing stashed here! More on that later.)
Since I had no less than three melt-downs, and several bottles of white wine last week to ease my pain, I wanted to save you from some of it, and illustrate a good way to move through, and into, your stuff when overhauling a large space-like a garage or storage unit.
Here we go…
Walk around. Do not lose it. You are only looking. I know, I know. You try to pick up one small box, and it is simply filled with another, smaller box of random sh*t. It is mis-marked, disorganized and out-of-control, perhaps. I feel your pain. But, for now-simply walk the space, and start making a mental (or physical, paper) note about what you want to toss, give away, or sell.
And here, I’m talking about: Any used furniture you no longer want, electronics like printers, old bikes, baby stuff-such as toys and cribs, and old athletic or gym equipment.
Call the Salvation Army to pick up the items for give away. They will take anything they can truly resell, except for baby items. You may have to wait a few weeks for an appointment, but it’s less expensive than renting a truck or van to do this. If you have mainly smaller items and clothing here is a link to finding a Goodwill drop-off bin in your area
That charity pick-up day will be your start day.
Get at least one friend or family to help, if you possible can. It helps tremendously. My niece and her best friend are remarkable organizers, when they have a task in front of them. Get a teen or even older kid to help you out, man!
On the first day or afternoon or morning you have blocked out to start this crazy task, pull out the above items-making sure that the give away items are the most accessible for the Salvation Army truck that’s (thankfully!) coming.
Next, pull out the above items that you would like to post on Craigslist or Ebay to sell. Take some quick, not-too-terrible photos, and mark down the brand names and dimensions, This will give you some good energy to start.
You will be posting those items to sell tonight.
Look around at what is left in the actual space. Make sure you have your fave coffee, tea or feel-good beverage of choice.
What are the four or five main categories? Consider: Work Stuff/Holiday Decorations/Craft and Creative Supplies/Photos and old albums/Momentos and kid’s art/old documents & important papers.
Start sweeping out the floor and little nooks and crannies as you go. This will relax you, and make you feel at least little bit more calm, if this entire process drives you completely nuts, as it does me.
Start lugging boxes to their respective places and corners. This is going to take awhile. Trust me. Because you will find stuff within stuff within stuff. That is okay. We are not going deep now, just putting things in organized categories and spaces.
Keep going. Some boxes and containers will be mis-marked, or unmarked. Them’s the breaks.
Please, once again. Do NOT start really going through stuff now, or get kneeling on the ground, shuffling through some old, decrepit photos. NO! This will only give you a nervous breakdown, and make you very exhausted. (Ahem!)
Take a good break, and wait for the Salvation Army guys to arrive.
After that arrive, yay, you have even more space now! Pat on back. Good! Get back to work now, though.
Sweep the floor some more.
Put any random bits and bobs in the garbage and/or recycling containers. You may have to make several “off-site” trips to a local recycling bin, I myself made about five (!)
I say start with the documents. If you have anything that can be shredded, there are community shredding events in your city that are free, or you can have about 14 boxes shredded for about $100 0f they come to you, depending on which service you can find. Tax returns you should keep for up to 7 years. If you have gone paperless for bank and credit card statements, consider shredding the paper docs older than a year. Let’s rid of this crap, if we can, and today!
Start looking in these work and document boxes to see what’s what. Important papers, like social security cards, birth certificates, and wills, should probably be kept safely inside, in an accordion file, or locked box, whichever you prefer.
Put the file boxes or bags of paper to be shredded aside. Way aside, in a cozy corner, or better yet, a side yard.
Look at what is left. You may find you are already starting to have quite a few extra containers on your hands. If they are in good condition, and you want to keep them, wipe them down and stack them all up to utilize later.
Stack all the work/doc boxes in their respective space.
Go on to something more fun, such as holiday decor or craft supplies.
Go one box/bag at a time. Do you want this?? BE RUTHLESS. You can know make a pile to BRING to Goodwill or Salvation Army, yourself.
You may find yourself with pricey craft stuff moldering in a marked holiday box, or important papers stuck in the bottom of a box of photo albums. Just take a deep breath, then sort it out, and move on. I know it sucks. Believe me! I know.
When you finish with a category, keep paring each section down, further and further, make sure to put all the boxes of that category back in their new space, before you move on to the next category of stuff.
You may think you are done, so, go and take a shower, and go and relax, if you can, for awhile.
Post the stuff to sell on Craigslist or Ebay. Ahhh…
You are NOT done, though!
Schedule the next day or evening when you can “hit” the garage our storage space.
Repeat the steps of going through each newly sorted box in each category, or at least, do a very ruthless scan. Is there anything else that can really “go,” or be sold, at least? Do yourself this favor. Try, try, try to let it go, if you can.
You may now find that you may need several more hours of work to finish really organizing, but believe me, you have already complete dates majority of a giant task. Good for you!
And note how you feel. Do you feel “done?” Really pay attention to that satisfied “click,” or the lack of it. You will really know when you are done.
Phew! Go bring that extra stuff to Goodwill, and put in a corner the stuff you are selling.
Woo-hoo! Go have a nice glass of wine or sparkling water.
YOU DID IT! xo #yourule
(And I will be posting, hopefully, a nice “after” next week!)
“Before…” #oy
Inner Housekeeping-Pt 3
Welcome to the third and final installment of the Inner Housekeeping Series! By this point in the process, you have spent some good quality time taking up residence in your inner home. You might be amazed at how much more energy you have, and how much more present you feel after this relatively small commitment of time and energy…
*Note: If you haven't read Part I and Part II of Inner-Housekeeping by Mick Kubiak, so please read that first, if you'd like xo)
Welcome to the third and final installment of the Inner Housekeeping Series! By this point in the process, you have spent some good quality time taking up residence in your inner home. You might be amazed at how much more energy you have, and how much more present you feel after this relatively small commitment of time and energy.
This is because you are tapping into something fundamental. This presence, this place, is your birthright. It has been there, well, dare I say, forever?
The emotions and the thoughts, the perceptions and beliefs, on the other hand, have a temporary quality, as do our psychological patterns—our tendency to panic, for example, or go in a paranoid direction, or get into relationships with a certain type of person. Our beliefs also come and go and change over time. But this place that is our home is always there and always feels the same. It is the space in which all that is temporary unfolds, rising and falling seemingly endlessly.
As you begin to identify more with the space in which the thoughts, feelings, and perceptions come and go, rather than the thoughts, feelings, and perceptions themselves, you will discover an inner stability that is always there.
You will experience the presence of a monarch sitting on a throne, or a Buddha sitting on the earth. You will recognize the innate dignity and stillness of your being. This is not something you have to develop or cultivate. This is simply what is and what has always been. Your breath and your body are the portals that can get you here any time you want.
Some meditation practices encourage an active approach to clearing of the inner space. I have found this to be particularly true with the Taoist approach, in which the meditator is encouraged to actively remove obstructing beliefs, thoughts, and emotions, just as a homeowner takes out the trash and recycling, as well as any old pieces of furniture that no longer feel good in the space. If this approach appeals, have at it.
Other practices recommend a more passive approach, encouraging the practitioner to simply recognize and observe that none of those beliefs, thoughts, and emotions are solid or permanent anyway. Allow them to rise and fall and pass on their own, flickering like the images on a movie screen, maintaining your awareness of that which endures—again, the space in which it all unfolds, in your inner home.
I have made good use of what I would consider to be some of the best instruction manuals available—The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, and The Oracle of the Cosmic Way by Carol Anthony and Hannah Moog. All of these books lead straight to the heart of inner housekeeping and consciously living a life that unfolds from the source of your being.
I have always practiced what works best for me at any given time, and have trusted in my own direct experience of reality to guide me.
The feeling of Homecoming is the perfect metaphor. When you feel that, you’re onto something. Keep going!
Inner Housekeeping-Pt 2
So here we are in phase of 2 of checking out your inner home. Last week, you just started to get the feeling of your inner home, and to sit in it consciously for five minutes each day. This week, you will go one tiny step further into inhabiting your inner space. After a week of turning the volume down on your thoughts, and tuning in to how you feel inside, you may notice that without doing anything else, you already feel more present and embodied. Just feeling how you feel can be something of a revelation…
(This is continued from Pt 1, so please read that first, if you'd like xo)
So here we are, in phase of 2 of checking out your inner home. Last week, you just started to get the feeling of your inner home, and to sit in it consciously, for five minutes each day. This week, you will go one tiny step further into inhabiting your inner space.
After a week of turning the volume down on your thoughts, and tuning in to how you feel inside, you may notice that without doing anything else, you already feel more present and embodied. Just feeling how you feel can be something of a revelation. Often we sweep our feelings under the rug, not wanting to experience them, lest they should disrupt us, and our lives. They scare us a little, or a lot. Once we realize that, in and of themselves, that they are just sensations wanting to be experienced, we can relax and get to know them.
It’s liberating to realize that you don’t have to be afraid of your feelings.
You don’t have to avoid them, deny them, or hide them. You also don’t have to express them, address them, or “deal with” them. Just feeling them is a complete experience in and of itself, and at this point, that’s all you need to do.
In this phase of the practice, you will tune in to your physicality, your breath, and your body, as the anchors for your awareness. In other words, experience your feelings through your body, rather than just thinking about them. Go back to the image of turning the volume down on the radio or television in your head, if that helps. Drop all stories, concepts, and explanations about why you feel the things you feel, and just feel your feelings as they present themselves to you, in your body.
Notice as you scan your body, from your toes to your head, and back again, if your body feels heavy or light, cold or hot. Are you tingling in any area? Or numb? Simply observe, and stay connected to your breath.
Some people feel shapes and see colors, for example a black thing the size of a golf ball in their throat, or a cold, flat sheet of paper in their upper back. And what most of us experience is that these areas of consolidated energy change in shape, color, density, as we sit patiently with what we feel. Most of us notice that if we sit with these sensations and continue to anchor attention on our breath at the same time, the sensations shift and transform.
All we need to do is observe.
Again, at this point in the process all you need to do is experience the energy as it shows up and moves through your body. Let your thoughts go for now, like people walking past your home that you don’t intend to connect with right now. What you are doing here, building on last week’s exercise, is taking up residence in your inner home by becoming more fully present in your body.
If five minutes still feels right, continue setting the timer for five minutes and go on about your day when the timer goes off. If you feel like more time would be even better, set the timer for 10 minutes, or do two five-minute intervals. For now, though, do not exceed 10 minutes. Get in, get out, and get on with your day.
Next week, we will begin to move beyond just taking up residence in the inner home, and move into some more conscious cleansing of our inner space. Take good care of yourself until then…
Go here for Part III of Inner-Housekeeping, by Mick Kubiak.
Start Right Here...
by Mick Kubiak, LMFT
For many of us, our homes are our sanctuaries. They provide us with refuge from the world out there—no matter how noisy, how unpredictable, how cruel, or how demanding it gets-at the end of the day, we can step into our safe spaces, and shut the door. We turn the lock with a deep sigh of relief. Here, we find peace and beauty for our weary hearts. We fall onto the couch, as if into the arms of a supportive and nurturing friend. There is a common phrase—all the comforts of home—that captures this daily return to safety and warmth…
Your Inner House-Pt 1
For many of us, our homes are our sanctuaries. They provide us with refuge from the world out there—no matter how noisy, how unpredictable, how cruel, or how demanding it gets-at the end of the day, we can step into our safe spaces, and shut the door. We turn the lock with a deep sigh of relief. Here, we find peace and beauty for our weary hearts. We fall onto the couch, as if into the arms of a supportive and nurturing friend. There is a common phrase—all the comforts of home—that captures this daily return to safety and warmth.
But there is another home—even more vital and sacred than our primary residences. I speak here of the inner home of your Being—the internal space in which your thoughts, emotions, feelings, perceptions, schemes, and dreams unfold; the place from which you—You—view the world and the people and things in it.
One of the great tragedies of the human condition is that most of us do not know that we even have an inner home, and that it needs our attention, and energy, every bit as much as our external home does. Even worse, we have been taught that we don’t have much say in the matter of what goes on in there. We endure, and try to overlook or compartmentalize all kinds of darkness and waste that we would never tolerate in our world kitchens and living rooms.
We must forgive ourselves for this neglect, this lack of consciousness, because our mothers and fathers taught us how to cook and clean, and wash the car, how to balance our checkbooks and pay our bills, but most of them failed to teach us that we have to look inside, and attend to our inner homes as well. This was not malice on their part, but ignorance. They couldn’t teach us what they didn’t know.
Sometimes, the awareness that our inner home is a real place, a real place we haven’t paid much attention to, can be overwhelming, kind of like finding out that you own an actual house that no one told you about until now. When you first go to see it, you’re going to be like, oh dang, that place is a mess. And you might want to just walk away and pretend like you never saw it. Plenty of people do.
But not you, dear House and Mind reader! Because you know that with the right encouragement and support, you can handle this! I’m telling you. You really can. And at some point in the future, when you have cleared the brush, fixed the broken door, and swept out the cobwebs, you will be standing full of joy in your inner home, so happy that you finally claimed this place for yourself.
It is this state of inner presence that is known as self-possession, and if you’ve ever felt it in yourself, or sensed it in another person, you want it—poise, equanimity, and inner peace. Yes, please!
So here you are, standing on the sidewalk, staring at the overgrown foliage and more than a little freaked out by what might be lurking inside the house. Will there be mice? Rats? Squatters? Well, the answers to those questions will come with time and you don’t need to freak out about any of it right now. In fact, if you remember only one thing as you do this work of reclaiming your inner home, this is it: Don’t freak out! It’s not necessary. Choosing not to freak out is a certain kind of magic, and once you experience the power of it, you will never fully go back to freaking out again.
As you’ve understood by now, this inner home is not visible in the apparent world. It is a place you can only see with your eyes closed, if you can see it at all. I have noticed that some people see their inner world, some people feelit, and others hearit. Still others just somehow grasp it without reference point to any of the five traditional senses. They just know.
You will find the way that works for you if you willingly suspend any disbelief that you have an inner home. In other words, you don’t have to believe it; you just have to be open to the possibility of experiencing it.
So let’s start there, and let’s start small. This first session will be like a Tiny Tidy for your inner home.
1. Set a timer for 5 minutes, and close your eyes with the intention of finding out what is going on inside.
2. Notice what you are hearing—spoken word snippets from your lifelong to do list, snappy comebacks you wish you had thought of in your last conversation, that Taylor Swift song you can’t ever seem to escape. Imagine all that noise is coming from a TV set or a radio, and you can turn it off, turn it down, or just tune it out. Sometimes it really can be that simple.
3. Once you have attained some inner quiet, notice how the space inside you feels. Does it feel open and light, or cluttered and claustrophobic? For now, just notice. Get a lay of the land. Remember our cardinal rule: it is not necessary to freak out. Just observe and rest easy in the confidence that you can handle anything. You can restore order, brighten, lighten, straighten and shine, as needed.
4. When the timer goes off, you’re done. Go live your life, and repeat these steps tomorrow, again for 5 minutes.
Stay tuned for more, next week! xo
Go to: Inner Housekeeping, Pt. 2
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