Okay, yes, it IS a Monday. And I hate to complain, but it is unseasonably warm here in my un-airconditioned space in Santa Monica. And a pile of insurmountable "challenges" are demanding my attention-many of which have stayed unresolved for years. Oh, and I'm still single...And I need more money! And...!!! This is the loop that many Buddhists so correctly called the "Monkey Mind..."
And it sucks. Phil Stutz and Barry Michaels, the brilliant shrinks and co-authors of both The Toolsand Coming Alive(and therapist to both GP and Drew Barrymore, among many other Hollywood notables) call this thing in us that always tries us to dance us back to our most toxic thoughts and negative emotions "Part X."
Whatever the hell you call it, it's there in the seemingly healthiest of us, it seems. And it sucks, it's true.
I can definitely link you to some mindfulness exercises, and tell you listen to Tara Brach's meditations, and give you a long reading list of great books to study. (The two listed below are sincerely excellent and inspiring, I can swear by them.)
But what if you just need help, right now, in this moment?
I am with you. I struggle with my own demons and self-defeating attitude and inner voice every day. I am not going to tell you to breathe. Or find a quiet space. No way.
I'm just going to tell you this: This is ALL going to be a memory tomorrow. These feelings, these very specific, ugly ones, blah and unenjoyable ones, are all going to be gone.
If it's cold out, make some soup, if it's warm out, go for a walk or grab an iced tea at a little cafe or coffee shop. If you're stuck at work, pick up the phone and make a plan with a pal. If you have to go home and cook dinner, start planning that sh*t now, right now. Even if you're broke, even if it's $1 Mac-n-cheese from a box!
It's going to be pass. Maybe you're in a work crunch, and it's still going to be quite impossible, all the way around tomorrow. But it will pass.
And remember this: You are having this shitty feeling because you have plans, things you want for yourself, your family and your life, and your relationships. Sure, you could let go of all cravings, but it's not practical advice. Just be happy that you care enough to have such a crap day, alright? I'm serious. Good for you!
So, get out of work as soon as you can. I give you a free hall pass to remind yourself that you have better days, much better, and you will be okay. Hopefully, very soon....I highly recommend the books below, as well, especially when you are feeling down, stuck, and are not motivated by the thought of going to therapy. These are practical tools that even total skeptics can use to get unstuck and truly sort of enrich their lives...
